I doubt there is a person who hasn’t struggle with the aftermath of being betrayed or having someone you trust, break their promise. It hurts, and it hurts for a long time. There is no avoiding the pain, but you can respond I a way that will help you heal from the pain and not live in misery. You don’t need to feel like a victim of someone else lack of sensitivity or commitment. So, when we say betrayal, what are we talking about. Betrayal is when someone breaks trust or commitment in a relationship in a deliberate wounding way.
Often an act of betrayal can change your life forever. Be it your personal relationship or professional. Someone throwing you under the bus to look better. Someone sharing your secrets or making fun of you with others. Betrayal creates a whole lot of cocktail of feelings including shame, anger, resentment, anxiety, and disappointment. With all those feelings swirling around it’s normal to feel shaky with lower self-confidence and self-esteem.
You are torn between getting vengeance and cutting them out from your life. You may not trust yourself or your gut feelings anymore, but mostly you are going to feel scared about opening it to anyone, in fact, you may even question some people you are presently close to. You may feel as though you are at an imposing. In reality, you’re at a crossroads. Let’s get into the reaction reset for today. Right now, you are at a point where your reaction can encourage, expand, personal growth, or keep you stuck in a memory.
Instead, it is encouraged to use this opportunity to grow through your pain and use it to find a better understanding of yourself and others.
First of all, you must restore your sense of faith in yourself and what you feel. Ironically, after betrayal, you begin to doubt yourself in addition to the person who betrayed you.
Get together with friends and family members who trust you and remind you of your positive qualities
Write down 2 small goals each day and complete them. This is going to help to restore your faith in yourself.
Write down specific destruction caused by the betrayal, allow yourself to get angry. Write everything down, relive it, feel it. After you finish it, tear it, burn it, throw it in the bin. This symbolizes your moving forward.
Now, it’s the hardest step for forgiveness. You can never condone what this person did nor should you. Forgiveness is more about you Detaching from the person and the pain given by him, allowing yourself to forgive that it happened. You are choosing to forgive to move forward with your life. Hanging on to the pain will create misery. Going forward, you will never be free without forgiveness. Faith and trust can restore if you find others who have been betrayed and show a positive reaction.
No matter, where you are in your painful experience you have a choice to make. That choice will determine the quality of your relationship forward. None of us wants pain in our lives, but pain is a necessary part of life. It wakes us up and brings opportunities we would not have otherwise explored.
Remember, changing your reaction, will change the way the world treats and sees you.
By Sadhaf Zoya