I have read many articles about parenting and it seems like a big challenge these days. Parents can’t find proper help or guidance in dealing with their children. Perhaps they want a quick solution and something that works according to their ideas. Most of the parents use the style of parenting they experienced in their adolescence and attempt to fit the same method for their children. They expect the same obedient attitude from them which they think they gave to their parents as kids, without accepting the fact that their times were different, and perhaps easier, then now. Being a parent, I have experienced that kids face many day-to-day challenges like peer pressure, their studies, “extra-curriculum activities” and many more.
Every child has its own brain and capacity for learning and parents always try to fit what is a ‘square’ into something ‘round’ – parents expect that their child should have taken an interest in all the stuff which they themselves are interested in.
Being parents, we are responsible for our children’s behavior, the way they speak and react. One of my friends was very upset a few days ago and said her son is showing very aggressive behavior and she doesn’t know how to handle him. She and her husband are working parents and I asked her how much time they spend with him, to which she replied that he is very busy with his own stuff and they barely get a chance to speak to him. I gave her the friendly advice that whenever you both have time, or when you can actively create time, use it to do whatever he likes and talk about things which interest him, and don’t let him feel like he is alone – stop being patents for a moment and be his friend.
Taking this into account, she called me and told me they both are trying to be more involved and are seeing a very positive response, and have noticed that their relationship is getting better with him. She also acknowledged that both parents should not pressure him to do those things which might be good for the kid but he has no interest in them. We as parents should try to understand our children and their individuality, their personalities, and not bend or mould them the way we want. We can help them to grow in the right way with respect, understanding, and love, and the best is when we show the same. That’s how parenting would be easy.
The best way to make children good is to make them happy.” –Oscar Wilde
By Saima Arif